Breach of Promise

It was a huge disappointment when I returned to the beach of my childhood. Then and there there were miles and miles of soft white sand, which never burnt the soles of your feet and which felt like almost like flour. There was a long row of small, different coloured huts where people changed into their bathing suits before getting into the teal coloured sea.

Have you ever noticed the different styles of getting into the water people have? Some people run as fast as they can and then throw themselves into the arms of the sea. And some walk very, very slowly, savouring each step. I wonder if it is somehow connected to how they react to love. Some throw themselves at the first person who seems to want them. Others proceed with caution, nevertheless enjoying each step of the way.

A beach of promise… A breach of promise… That’s what I thought when I saw the beach again. It had shrunk, but then again so had my heart.

Inspired by The Daily Post: Beach

Beach

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Abandoned

How could I have let this happen? It’s like a worst case scenario. I have abandoned myself!

In order to be able to explain this I need to turn back the clock and go back to my childhood. I grew up with a narcissist mother. She loved my brother, not me, and she still does. She didn’t abandon me in the physical sense, but she didn’t give me what a child needs, a loving mother.

I grew up thinking I had to be there for everyone else, everyone except myself.

Inspired by The Daily Post: Abandoned

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